thoughts relating to the Condition of a Seaman, in steps another of the Tarpauling Fraternity, with his Hat under his Arm, half full of Money, which he hug’d as close as a School-Boy does a Birds-Nest. As soon as ever he came into the Entry, he sets up his Throat, like a Country Bridegroom, half Drunk, so over-joy’d at his Prize, as if he was as little able to contain himself under the Blessing of so much Money, as a Bumpkin is under a foresight of the Pleasures he expects to find in the Embraces of his New Married Hug-Booby. Ounds, Mother, says our Marine Croessus, where are you? She hearing his Tongue, thought, by his Lively Expressing himself, he had brought good News; came running with all speed to meet him, crying, Here I am, Son Bartholomew; You’re Welcome Ashore. I hope your Captain and Ships Crew are all well. By Fire and Gunpowder, I don’t care if they be all Sick. Why, we are paid off in the Downs, and I am just come up in a Hoy. I hope I can have a Lodging with you, Mother? Ah, ah, Child? Do’st think I won’t find a Lodging for one of my best Children? In answer to which, he Innocently returns this Compliment, Sure never any Sea-faring Son of a Whore had ever such a good Mother upon Shore as I have. Ounds, Mother, let me have a Bucket full of Punch, that we may Swim and Toss in an Ocean of good Liquor, like a couple of little Pinks in the Bay of Biscay. I always said, said she, thou wert my best Boy: Well, I’ll go and prepare thee such a Bowl, that every Cup thou Drink’st on’t shall make thee wish for a Loving Sweet-Heart. Now, you talk of that, Mother, how does Sister Betty? She’s very well, says old Suck-Pocket; Poor Girl, she’ll be at Home presently; I expect her every Minute. I believe she has ask’d for you above a Thousand times since you have been on Board. I dare Swear she would be as glad to see you, as if you were her Husband.
In this Interim, whilst she was mixing up a Sea-Cordial for her adopted Sea-Calf, John happens to return
fromfrom his Enquiry after a Voyage, Lack-a-day John, says his Landlady, with a seeming Sorrowful Countenance, Here’s the sadest Accident fallen out since you went Abroad, that has put me to such a puzzle, I know not how to order my Affairs, unless you will let me beg one Kindness of you. What a Pox, says JohnJohnJohn, says the Old Wheedling Hipocrite, here’s to thee; come Drink, ’tis a Cup of the best Brandy, I’ll assure you; here, John, fill a long Pipe of Tobacco; well, Son John, you say you’ll let your Mothers Friend have your Room, Child, won’t you? I don’t care not I, says the foolish Lubber, he may ha’t and he wool; I think I han’t long to stay with you; I know now I have spent my Fifty Pound with you, you want to be rid of me.
By this time the Bowl was just begun between Mother and Son; and who should step in, in the lucky Minute, but Sister Betty; and there was such a wonderful Mess of Slip-Slop lick’d up between Brother Bat and Sister Bet, that no two Friends, met by Accident in a Foreign Plantation, could have exprest more Joy in their Greeting: But as soon as ever the White-Chapple Salutation was over, Mrs. Betty I found began to exact some further Arguments of his kindness, than just barely Kissing; and ask’d him, what had he brought his Sister Betty no Present from Sea with him? Yes, yes, says he, I have, sure, I can as soon forget the Points of my Compass, as forget my Sister Betty, as good a Girl as ever was Kist in a Cabbin, or lost her Maidenhead in a Hammock. I told thee if ever I came Home again I would present you with a Ring, and there’s Money to buy it. How, now, Hussie, crys the Mother, how dare you put your Brother to this Charge, you forward
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