Images of St. Dunstan’s Dial. In revenge of which, the Young Sufferer retir’d to the Stink-Tub, as a good fortress well stor’d with Ammunition, there fish’d for Pellats, which he cast so thick upon his Adversary, that he made him look and stink like a Bogg’d Bayliff; and now and then a Random-Shot hit a stander-by, which had like to have begot him more Enemies: What the Lawyer could gather from the Ground, and pick off his Garment, he most Manfully return’d; and fighting Cunning, being much upon the Dodg, an unlucky Bullet flew over his Shoulder, and shot a broken Perfumer just in the Face, whose Nostrils being us’d to Odoriferous Scents, were the more Offended at the unsavory misfortune, which came with such angry force, from a provok’d Enemy, that the major part of his Face was eclips’d by the Stinking Messenger of War.
Both sides maintain’d the Battle with great bravery, till their Ammunition was quite spent, which forc’d them to end their Quarrel in a few hard Words. But notwithstanding they gave equal Testimonials of their undaunted Courage, yet I must needs tell you, they came off, saving your Presence, in a very Shitten Condition.
When the foul mutiny was thus ended, which began in a Sir-reverence, a general Search was made after the Bucket of Water, in order to wash off their Impurities, with which, in the heat of Passion, they had wofully defil’d each other; after a sedulous enquiry, they found the hidden Element, which by cleaning their Hands and Faces, they soon Died of a Beastly Complection.
By this time most of the Pediculous Inhabitants of these uncomfortable Confines, being well tired with the Pastimes of the Night, were sitting Naked in their Cabins, over-hauling their Shirts, and pressing their Eight-leg’d Enemies to death between their Thumbnails,Thumb-
nails, wheresoe’er they found them; every now and then came a frightful Figure from aloft, clawing his own Flesh for Madness, he was so Lousie; turns his Buttocks o’er the edge of a Wooden conveniency, let fly, and away scowers up again: At last descends a Fellow in a Mourning Surpliss, and in his hand a Wooden Porridge-Dish, whose Hair stood as if Medusa-like, it had been turned into Snakes; whither should he trot, but to the Pail of Water, where the Dunghill-scented Combatants had wash’d off their Mire, and quaffs off a couple of Bumpers very favourly; but as soon as it was done, he found it left an unpallatable Relish behind it, which made poor drowthy Barnaby fall a Spitting and Cursing, the Plague D—n the Pump, it is grown so Rotten, and makes the Water taste so strong of the Tree, that we shall all be Poison’d
: This unlucky Deception of the innocent mistaken Wretch, rais’d amongst my Friends and I, a great deal of Merriment; who, like the rest of Mankind, were under a natural Propensity to laugh at mischief. The Fellow had got Drunk in the Cellar, and went to Bed before the Prisoners began their Revels, and knew nothing of the Feud had been rais’d by the droppings of the Fundament, which occasion’d him to be thus deceiv’d.
Now the whole Family were grown as silent as so many Hogs when their Bellies are full, nothing being heard but Snoaring, except now and then a Crack from the stretching of a Louses Skin, or an ingrateful Sound from the untunable Drone of a filthy Bagpipe, which is never heard, but by the assistance of a stinking Breath: With this sort of Musick were our Ears entertain’d all Night; and that my Eyes might be oblig’d with answerable satisfaction, I thought it now the only time to look about me, where I observ’d Men lay pil’d in Cabbins one upon another, like Coffins in a Burying Vault, possessing